


graduations

by thaounatural



Series: happy families [5]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, i dont even know what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-02-08 18:47:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12870771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thaounatural/pseuds/thaounatural
Summary: sanha found growing up hard.





	1. elementary

minhyuk graduated.

from kindergarten.

as minhyuk and sanha walked home together from their last day of studying in the same school, sanha mumbled, trying to hide his sadness.

"will you forget me when you study at a new school?"

"no way!!" - minhyuk turned to his best friend, yelling in disagreement. sanha felt a little better, but he was still a bit scared. he and minhyuk has been best friends since the day he was born. minhyuk was there for his first step, minhyuk was the person to teach him how to draw stuff, minhyuk is always there. the thought of not seeing his best friend everytime he wants kinda freak his tiny heart out a bit.

"it's just one year." - minhyuk somehow felt the younger's concern and tried to comfort him. he held his best friend's hand. - "and i live next door remember? i will never forget you."

"you better." - sanha cracked out a smile.

.

"i'm so proud of you." - myungjun swept his invisible tears with his hand, looking at his son preparing for his first day of a new school. 

"it's just his first day of elementary school, myungjun. keep that for his high school graduation." - jinwoo put the lunch box inside the bag, sighed at his dramatic husband. the 1-cm-taller guy kicked him lightly in his butt.

"let me live the way i want. i can't be proud of my son?" - he sounded annoyed, which made jinwoo laughed. - "and don't tell me you aren't feeling proud."

"you can, but this is not really the case. and you right, i am." - jinwoo stood up, and they both looked at their son, smiling.

"you grew up so well." - myungjun held minhyuk's hand, squeezed it. - "ready to go?"

"yes." - minhyuk said, halfheartedly. there was something missing, minhyuk thought. something a bit too tall, always smiling, and smells like lemon.

_sanha._

"can i, can i see sanha first?"

"sure, sweetie, go ahead. we'll be waiting for you in the car. make it shorter than 15 minutes ok? we don't want you to be late."

"i will." minhyuk ran. he didn't care his hair would be ruined (jinwoo and him spent a good 30 minutes for it) or he would fall and his brand new white uniform would be ruined.

sanha opened the door, looking sleepy. he opened his eyes widely when he recognized the person who was in front of their door. minhyuk gave him a cheeky grin.

"who's that, cupcake?"

"minhyuk."

"ah, hello." - bin walked out to greet their little guest. he chuckled as he saw the older boy. - "you look wonderful, kiddo."

"thank you uncle bin." - minhyuk felt really proud of his and jinwoo's effort.

"bin?" - he heard uncle dongmin called from inside the house.

"im coming!" - bin made a good bye gesture to minhyuk and went inside.

there was only two of them. sanha didn't say anything, he seemed to be really nervous. he was waiting for minhyuk to say something. but instead, the shorter boy hugged him.

"i'll miss you."

sanha's arms automatically wrapped around minhyuk. it was quiet for a moment, and then sanha stood back, pulled out of his pants' pocket a small red packet.

"this is a thing for your luck." - sanha explained. - "i'm not really sure, but it will help you, somehow."

minhyuk didn't understand too. but he accepted the tiny packet anyway.

"thank you."

the shorter boy put the packet in his bag, smiled at sanha for the last time, and then ran away.

sanha just stood there, looking at the car slowly disappeared from his sight. he didn't realize one of his dads was standing there until he heard a snort.

"dad?"

dongmin pulled him closer by his side, and he ran his fingers through sanha's soft short hair.

"it's just elementary school, you don't have to be _that_ dramatic."

his dad mumbled something, and sanha couldn't catch it, so he looked up, confused.

"what?"

"nothing, cupcake." - he smiled. - "i was just saying it'll be late if you won't eat breakfast in ten minutes. let's just, eat breakfast, go to school, and meet minhyuk when he comes back?"

"sure." - sanha followed his dad inside. - "when will i turn six, dad?"

"when the leaves turn yellow next year, cupcake."

sanha found out, all the good things come in yellow. ducks, the lemon tart dongmin usually makes, and the day he would be able to go to the same school as his best friend.


	2. elementary: first day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> best friend forever?
> 
> best friend forever.

"so.. how was your first day?"

sanha asked as he licked the ice cream cone. minhyuk let out a small hump, and then shrugged his shoulders.

"it's fine. i made some new friends."

"ah really?" - the tone in sanha's voice shown obvious worried, so minhyuk turned to the younger boy right away and held one of his hands. the said younger boy squeezed it while smiling. it did make him felt a bit better.

"don't worry. you're still my best friend!!" - minhyuk exclaimed loudly. they then heard a laugh from behind them, but when they looked back, the four parents who was sitting there all had really serious faces.

minhyuk sighed, he turned to sanha and forced the taller boy to face him. sanha titled his head.

" _look_." - the older boy coughed, trying to put his voice in a serious tone. this is an important subject, so he figured he should make it serious.

myungjun bursted into laughter. everyone who was presented focused on him, and jinwoo hit him on the head, causing a loud and unconcealed whine from his husband.

"but it was funny!!"

"it was _serious_ , shut up myungjun."

sanha giggled as he watched myungjun and jinwoo bickering, but then he felt minhyuk's hands cupping his face and again, was forced to concentrate solely on minhyuk's face. minhyuk's lip curled up into a smile when he saw he had sanha's attention.

"his name is dino. i don't know for sure if he has a real name. we talked because we are deskmates at school."

"wait. elementary school has desks and two people sits together?" - sanha cut in with surprise.

"yes. _amazing_ right? i know." - the elementary school boy responded with proud. how he had exprienced that, and sanha hadn't, is such a thing to be proud of. but also a little disappointed, because he wanted sanha to be his deskmate if possible too. - "but,"

and then they heard bin's quiet giggle. dongmin sighed. he looked disappointed, but not surprised, and jinwoo seemed to be amaze at how bin tried to shut up just with a sigh.

"but," - minhyuk decided he would choose somewhere else to talk next time. he couldn't do it smoothly with all his and sanha's parents watching, frequent giggles and laughter from them. ugh, _adults_. - "he doesn't know my favorite food. he doesn't know my favorite color. he doesn't know how i like my ice cream to be. he doesn't know my bicycle's name. he doesn't know i ha- no, i don't like ducks. he doesn't know how to make a sand castle just with a small cup. he doesn't knows a lot of things you know, and ask my why."

"why?" - sanha's smile was already so big, and it concerned sanha. what if his face began to rip because his smile was too wide?

"because he's _not_ my best friend, and you _are_ my best friend, sanha."

minhyuk said it slowly, and tried to gathered as much sincerity as he could and put it in his words. he saw his parents doing this before, jinwoo tried to comfort myungjun when he was having a bad day, and he said it slowly, sincerely, wholeheartedly, honestly. jinwoo said it so, " _when you grow up and you found someone you'd love to be with for the rest of your life, and they are having a down moment. you talk to them, comfort them, make them happy, show them your sincererity, wholeheartedness, honest, love, caring toward them as much as you can._ " there were some adjectives minhyuk didn't understand very well, but he thought it all means good things, so he accepted it. he thought being in elementary school was already a big step in growing up, and he found someone he wanted to be with for the rest of his life, and he decided this was _the_ moment. he saw sanha's wide smile, his eyes sparkled, so minhyuk was happy he made the right decision.

"you're my best friend too, minhyuk!!" - sanha yelled in happiness, and his voice cracked at the end, followed by a chuckle of delight from one of their parents, which was possibly myungjun, if jinwoo hitting him was anything to go by.

the younger boy turned back to his best friend, smiling at him, and the held out his pinky.

"so, best friends forever?"

"best friends forever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i still dont know how i wrote this but!! you guys make me so happy with your comments and mentions on twitter thank you ♡♡♡♡


	3. elementary: usual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the usual and the unusual

it was sanha's first day of elementary school.

as dongmin was preparing his lunch, bin sat with him on the balcony, playing with his hair. sanha pouted.

"dad, my hair will be ruined."

"ah, okay, sorry cupcake." - bin chuckled, tried to fix his son's hair.

"dad, will you miss me when i come home later than usual?" - the tiny boy looked at the yellow leaves falling down from the tree, asking.

"of course, i hope i don't die missing you." - bin made a sad face, and sanha sighed. - "come on, you are not that old for sighing at your dad. dongmin is such a bad influence."

"please, i'm a better influence than you are." - dongmin appeared with the lunch box, hit bin's back lightly. - "cupcake, your lunch is ready. how about you? are you ready to go?"

"yes!" - sanha exclaimed loudly with excitement. it was the day he got to go to the same school with minhyuk! it had been so long.

he was able to keep up the feeling until one of his classmate looked at him with surprised.

"you don't have a mother?"

" _why_ would i want to have a mother?"

" _everyone_ have a mother, sanha." - another friend cut in. - "having two dads is _unusual_."

"no way. having a mother is unusual" - sanha shook his head. minhyuk also has two dads. he thought, everyone had two dads.

"way." - the friend rolled her eyes and screamed. - "you and your stupid dads are unusual, yoon sanha!"

yoon sanha.

_yoon sanha._

_yoon_ sanha.

his family name is yoon. his dads are lee dongmin and moon bin. sanha remained silent.

the way to their home was so much longer. minhyuk could feel the tension, so he asked with hesitation.

"is.. something wrong?"

"is having two dads unusual, minhyuk?"

sanha could feel his voice shaking, and his whole body trembling. he could feel the cold drop of tears on his face, making him shiver.

"sanha.." - minhyuk didn't expect this question, and to be honest, he was curious too.

"answer me."

"i don't know, sanha."

sanha rushed home, leaving minhyuk behind.

"oh cupcake?"

dongmin was already home. he was making hot chocolate, as sanha recognized the two cups with finn and jake from adventure time on it.

"where's minhyuk?"

sanha exhaled. he looked at his dad, not sure if he should be angry, or sad. dongmin felt the awkward in the silence, and he turned.

"cupcake?"

"are you really" - sanha couldn't stop himself from shaking. - " _my dad_?"

"cupcake." - sanha saw the disappointment, shock, sadness in his dad's eyes. his tears finally fell down.

"no." - he screamed.

sanha ran outside. he ran, and ran, and ran, until he bumped into someone. when he looked up, that someone turned out to be uncle myungjun.

"oh? sanha. hi sweetie."

"hi uncle myungjun."

"why are you here now? isn't it late?" - myungjun checked his phone. - "your dads aren't home yet?"

sanha couldn't answer. his mouth felt dried. he opened it, and then closed it. myungjun smiled, and took his hand.

"let's go home, sanha."

"no." - sanha yelled. he regreted it soon after that, and explained. - "i'm.. i don't want to go home, uncle myungjun."

"ah really? how about my house? it's late anyway." - myungjun soft voice somehow calmed sanha down, and the little one nodded.

they didn't say anything for the whole walk. myungjun had a phone call, where sanha can hear him responding "yes." "okay, don't worry." and that was all he said. when they were at the door, and myungjun sat down to match sanha's eyes level, and he told sanha.

"do you know who love you the most, sanha?"

sanha _didn't_ answer.

"do you want to meet that person?"

sanha _couldn't_ answer.

"do you know how much you broke their heart?"

sanha _wished he hadn't had to_ answer.

his vision was blurred by the tears falling down uncontrollably. a hand ran through his hair, and he heard a familiar sigh, he tried to sweep his tears away.

"it's okay, cupcake. you can cry." - bin's voice was soothing, and sanha felt the urge to cry even harder. - "what's wrong?"

"a f-friend of mine told me, me having two dad isn't normal." - it hurted him that he had to repeat it. sanha put a hand on his heart, trying to stop crying.

"mm." - bin took sanha into his arms. - "how long have they known you?"

"n-not really long."

"are they parenting someone?"

"no, i guess."

"yeah, so what do they know about parenting? do they know anything at all about love? having two dads maybe unusual, but we love you with our whole hearts, we are really lucky to have you, we are grateful for your existance, and you know what, cupcake, that's _usual_." - bin hugged him closedly, and sanha could hear the beating sound of his dad's heart. - "cupcake, we're happy that your mom decided to give us you, we're forever thankful. you're a gift from god. you are everything precious combined. we love you, cupcake, and that's _usual_."

sanha looked up, and he saw dongmin. his eyes were sparkling, and relieved. he smiled at sanha.

"hi, cupcake."

"dad." - sanha mumbled. - "i'm sorry, dad."

dongmin hugged them. both bin and sanha. sanha felt something shaking, probably himself, or one of his dads. sanha felt a kiss from bin, and another kiss from dongmin.

"dads."

"yes, cupcake?"

"i love you, dads."

"we love you more."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually cried writing this.. wow


	4. secondary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how do you detect your soulmate?

"so, you are going to your secondary school tomorrow?"

sanha asked, tried to sound as casual as possible. it frightened sanha, again, and even though it has been years, but sanha still felt a bit scared he would lose his best friend to some cool guys who is better at racing games than him. sanha was getting better at it, but minhyuk still beat him at any games. why is minhyuk so good at everything? this is unfair. minhyuk was only older than him by one year.

"yeah." - minhyuk replied, eyes still focused on the screen. sanha responded with a small hump, and that somehow concerned minhyuk. he paused the video game, and turned to his best friend, giving him his brightest smile. - "don't worry lanky noodle. i will never forget you."

"i am _not_ lanky noodle!" - sanha yelled back. despite how upset his words might seemed, sanha was blushing really hard. he didn't know why, but minhyuk didn't give him time to think about it, he cut it with tickles. - "PARK MINHYUK!"

"no really." - sanha was breathing heavily from the previous session of tickles. minhyuk had a stupid satisfied smile on his face, which sanha really hates. - "don't worry. _no_ _one_ can or will ever replace you."

sanha didn't answer. he felt his cheeks burning, and he was glad the lights were off. minhyuk didn't need to know about any of this.

.

sanha sat in his room, flipping through the pages of his journal. it has been so long since he last did something to it, so he thought this might be the day.

as he was about to write something, sanha heard a knock on the door. he closed the journal.

"come in!"

"cupcake."

it was dongmin. he brought with him a cup of hot chocolate in the jake cup. sanha smiled as he remembered why the cup was bought.

"how was your time with minhyuk?"

his dad put the cup on the table beside his bed, laid down next to him. sanha hesitated.

"it was okay."

"oh? something juicy happened?" - dongmin is really good at sensing things. unlike bin. but sanha guessed that really balances them.

"no, _dad_ , don't ask me about this." - sanha hid under the blanket, whining. he heard his dad's delighted laughter, and his soft voice followed.

"so.. are you" - he stopped, and made a weird noise, which made it worse. - "with minhyuk? i mean, you don't want me to talk about _it_."

"you are the worst, dad. you're talking with me about _it_!"

"no, cupcake, i did not mention _it_."

"same thing, dad!"

sanha exclaimed loudly. his parents are literally the worst. giving zero care about his embarrassment, his dad continued to ask him.

"but, cupcake?"

" _yes_." - sanha's tiny voice made dongmin chuckle.

"alright cupcake. have a good night."

he sat up and got off the bed. sanha was surprised, he didn't expect his dad to leave right when he got the answer. so he spoke, out of curiousity and amazement.

"dad?"

"cupcake?" - dongmin stopped walking, and gave his son a confused gaze.

"you don't have anything else to tell me..?"

"yeah." - dongmin bursted into laughter. - "you don't want to talk about it. so i don't."

"i changed my mind." - sanha's rushed replied made the smile on dongmin's face even wider.

"so. what do you want to know, cupcake?"

"how did you and bin met? when?"

"well, it was when i was an university student, he was an intern at this company, and.."

"were him your _soulmate_?"

dongmin gently put sanha's head on his arm, tapped sanha's back slowly. he was quiet for a moment, and then he replied, with a smile in his voice.

"yes, cupcake. he still is."

"how do you detect your soulmate?" - sanha looked up.

"you just _know_. there is no way. you just feel it, sense it, it will come to you, and you can just feel your world to light up when that person talk to you, or just, exists. you are thankful for their existance, really, because wow, how can someone be so perfect. they could be imperfect, but imperfectly perfect. you love them despite their flaws, their weakness, and you want to spend your life with that specific individual."

"that sounds like a lots. i can't sense that much." - sanha sighed, which earned a light giggle from his dad.

"you will, cupcake. now, sleep, it's late, you still have school tomorrow. good night cupcake."

"good night dad."

sanha dreamed about his soulmate that night. he dreamed about him and his soulmate being together, licking ice cream, running on a field, being happy in general. sanha woke up, smiling.

soulmates.

_what a nice concept._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is light and nothing really big happened because you'll know :p


	5. secondary: first day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sanha found that forever ends pretty soon.

sanha graduated from elementary, and was officially a secondary student. he smiled as he looked at his name tag on his uniform. he felt really grown up.

the first day went fine, despite one thing.

minhyuk had a new group of friends. they were cool, as sanha thought when he first saw them walking with minhyuk. but when minhyuk introduced them to sanha, sanha had chills when they looked at him. it was an intense judging look. it made him feel small. the gazes immidiately left him when minhyuk looked away from him to talk to them and they looked at minhyuk differently.

sanha held the corner of shirt tightly.

the said group of friends took most of minhyuk's time. there were so many occasions when sanha came over minhyuk's house, and uncle myungjun or jinwoo opened the door, and looked at him with apologetic eyes.

"i'm sorry sweetheart, he went out with his friends."

"it's fine. don't tell minhyuk i came." - sanha put on a sad smile, and reminded his uncle before he walked away.

"you sure sweetie?" - jinwoo once asked him.

he stopped, his eyes catched minhyuk walking towards the house, still talking to one of his friends. he replied.

"yes."

then sanha rushed home. he didn't look back.

sanha laughed at himself when he arrived home. the day he scared would come actually came.

but he still had minhyuk's saturday night. it was like a tradition. the two families would have dinner together, then sanha and minhyuk would have a sleepover, could be in either of their houses. so saturday night was his goal to start every week, everyday.

"sanha!"

sanha's train of thoughts stopped when he heard a voice. one of his friends, seungjun, was running towards him. he smiled.

"hi seungjun hyung."

"why are you alone today? where's minhyuk?" - seungjun is very bubbly, despite him being older than both him and minhyuk. he held sanha's hand, swung it back and forth.

"i don't know." - jinwoo just told him minhyuk has something he wanted to do today and told sanha to go by himself, but didn't say what.

"oh? but.." - seungjun gestured him to look up. and he saw a really bright minhyuk, laughing and talking with his friends.

sanha thought, _that could be him_.

"seungjun hyung, it's.. late. i have a test on the first lesson, i will go first. good bye seungjun hyung!"

sanha ran away before seungjun could even raise a hand to bid him goodbye.

it was friday, and tomorrow was saturday, but sanha couldn't cheer himself up. he walked home alone that day, after not meeting minhyuk the whole day at school. more like him avoiding minhyuk, but same thing.

he didn't know forever would end so soon. well, first time for everything, isn't it?

saturday night came. sanha stayed inside his bedroom, hid under his blanket, even when dongmin announced dinner was ready. he heard the door being opened, and minhyuk's voice.

"sanha, the dinner is ready!"

"i.." - sanha hesitated. he wanted to have fun with minhyuk, but he also didn't. it was their only night of the week. if it wasn't that day, it wouln't be no other day. but his brain replied even before his heart figured out what to say, and his brain gave minhyuk "i'm tired. i guess i won't have dinner today."

_stupid brain._

"ah really? why didn't you tell me?" - minhyuk sounded really worried.

 _because you weren't there_. sanha found himself shaking just thought about it, so he stayed silent.

"get well soon, sanha."

and he left.

he knew this was his fault, he should have talked to minhyuk, face to face, said what he was wondering. maybe yell at him, "you freaking liar". but the idea of asking minhyuk "do you still consider me your bestfriend?" seemed to be too hard to do, and sanha couln't imagine doing it.

"cupcake?" that time, it was bin outside of his room.

"yes, dad?"

"can i come in?"

"of course."

bin opened the door, and smiled at him as he closed it.

"you are sick?"

"no." - sanha admitted quickly. bin laughed, sat at the end of his bed.

"why? are you and minhyuk fighting?"

"no." - sanha sighed, and moved to where his dad was sitting, laid his head on bin's lap.

"then why?"

sanha looked at the picture of him and minhyuk hanging on the wall.

"there is this boy, who is a loser. he has a really cool best friend, and he is currently losing his best friend to another cool group of friends. he doesn't want to confront his best friend, because he's a loser. also because it's his best friend's choice, not his. what should he do? i'm asking for a friend."

bin took a little too long to answer, enough for sanha to look up and checked if his dad has fallen asleep.

"well. first of all, that boy isn't a loser. second of all, i'm sorry to that boy, because it's really a situation i can solve. only that boy can decide what he'll do."

bin ran his fingers through sanha's black hair, smiling. sanha responded with a small hump. bin put his head down gently, and stood up.

"but we have guests, and i still have to be at the dinner table. i will tell dongmin to bring you something later, okay?"

"tell minhyuk i don't want him to sleepover tonight for me."

"ah, you sure cupcake?"

"yes."

bin looked at his son, sighed.

"tell that boy he might want to stand up and face his problems."

"i will."

the said boy had to deal with his problems earlier than he thought, because that night, minhyuk insisted on staying at sanha's house, even if bin told him sanha didn't want to do it.

he knocked on sanha's bedroom door. sanha replied, unsure.

"yes, dad?"

"it's me, sanha."

"ah." - that was weird. why didn't minhyuk go home? - "why are you still here, minhyuk?"

"you avoided me all day at school. you didn't even look at me when i came into your room. did i do something wrong, sanha?"

"no. i'm just tired, i had lots of tests today too."

"sanha."

"i said i'm fine minhyuk."

"sanha."

"minhyuk, you don't have to worry about me! i said i'm _fine_ , and i mean it. you can go with your friends and leave me alone, because i am fine!"

there wasn't any answer, and sanha realized he did it badly right after the sentence came out. sanha clearly was out of his mind. he just yelled at his best friends for his choices of friends. well, not a best friend anymore, he guessed. sanha felt like he might need some water, because his mouth felt dry, so he got up.

he walked to the door, just to find out minhyuk leaning to the wall opposite of his bedroom, smiling sadly at him.

"hey."

"you haven't left?" - sanha was startled, so startled it left him speechless for a second before working on his first face-to-face interaction with minhyuk after a while.

"why would i?"

"because.. i yelled at you." - the younger boy looked down, guilty as ever. he then saw minhyuk's favorite pair of socks, which has pizza decoration on, also what sanha happened to wear that day, since they both have it. it was a funny coincidence, sanha thought.

"you yelled at me for forgetting about you. i deserve it, sanha." - there were extreme sadness in his voice, and sanha totally felt the urge to hug minhyuk, so he did.

"no, no, minhyuk, you are not. it's your choice minhyuk, not mine, and you don't have to feel bad for.. being you. i'm just" - sanha felt his tears falling on his cheeks, and he ignored it. - "just annoying, minhyuk. you don't deserve being yelled at, i'm so sorry."

minhyuk patted his back, slowly, and didn't say anything for a second.

"stop crying, this is my favorite shirt."

sanha laughed.

"it's not. it's just one flannel shirt in your enormous collection of flannel shirts."

"yes, but you gave me this one." - sanha didn't reply, and minhyuk continued. - " look, sanha. i saw you earlier today at school, when you were with seungjun hyung. i catched your eyes looking at me and than ran away. i saw you avoiding me when you saw me and my friends at the cafeteria. i saw you sitting alone at the corner of your class, eating your lunch when i passed by. and i am so sorry for being a bad friend."

"you are not." - sanha tried to reply without his voice shaking too much, but failed.

"except i am. don't forgive me that fast i might think i really have done nothing wrong." - minhyuk felt like sanha was about to say something, so he shutted his best friend up. - "no, shut your mouth, listen to me you lanky noodle. you deserve more than being lied to, being alone when you have an actual best friend breathing less than ten feet away from you."

"i'm not alone. i have seungjun hyung and yoojung and lucy and..."

"yeah, consider the fact that they all have their best friends too, and you can't get rid of me so soon." - minhyuk grumbled. sanha couldn't help but smile. - "the main point is, i'm sorry, sanha. it's okay if you don't want to forgive me, beca-"

"you are forgiven." - sanha smiled, wiped his tears.

"so am i allowed to play game here, again?"

"you are always welcome here."

"not really, not when you hugged my son for half an hour and shutted him up more than 2 times." - they then heard someone coughing, followed by an annoyed voice, which came from bin, behind him was dongmin who was giggling nonstop, leaning on bin to prevent himself from falling to the ground.

"dads!" - sanha sighed.

"get into sanha's room, both of you." - bin coughed. - "i'm glad that cheesy moment went by smoothly, but we have some late night movies to watch. we want some space."

"dads!" - the youngest boy whined loudly. why are his dads so embarrassing?

"i saw there's some pizza left." - minhyuk gave sanha a cheeky grin. - "let's grab it and watch a movie in your room? i promise, no horror movies."

sanha laughed.

"sure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took so long because i don't think it's good enough but i posted it and now im just gonna pray you guys don't hate it that much


	6. secondary: just today.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sanha allowed himself to be selfish.

"you what?"

"i have a girl friend." - minhyuk casually put a chicken nugget inside his mouth, grinning at sanha. - "why? i'm cool enough to have girl friends, you know."

"i" - sanha stopped, forcing a smile to appear. - "i know."

it was reasonable. the thing sanha has for minhyuk. at least that was sanha thought.

sanha has been having this huge crush on minhyuk since he helped sanha to stand up when they were in kindergarten, wiping his tears, giving him a candy, and smiling at him. "it's fine, right? are you hurt?". he knows, it was pathetic, having a crush on someone for so long, he couldn't even think how it would feel like not crushing on minhyuk.

now that he got a girl friend, things would change. a lots.

it wouldn't be like when the friends thing happened. he was obviously the loser here, for not telling minhyuk, for not confessing his feelings. but sanha couldn't do anything about it, because he was scared. what if minhyuk doesn't like boys? or even, he _likes_ boy, but the boy he likes is not sanha? would sanha be able to face him after that?

there were a lot of questions, with no clear answers. it left sanha shivering, thinking about him being the third wheel someday.

"earth to sanha!"

"yes?" - he looked up. minhyuk was smiling fondly at him.

"why are you so quiet? is there something wrong?"

"no." - sanha took a sip of his lemonade. it tasted bitter. - "what's her name?"

"jihyo."

"oh, the famous jihyo?" - sanha smirked. - "our minhyuk is growing up."

"shut up."

he coughed, stirring his lemonade, his expression was blank.

"do you like her, minhyuk?"

"i do."

sanha awared, so clear that it hurted him, that his silly crush for minhyuk was indeed growing out of the circle he tried to control.

so he tried to stay away.

he stopped going to school with minhyuk, saying yoojung needed someone to walk with her because her parents were worried. he stopped eating at the same table with minhyuk at lunch, saying he didn't want to be a thirdwheel. he stopped going home with minhyuk, saying minhyuk should be a gentleman and walk jihyo home.

sanha slowly seperated his life from minhyuk, determined to eliminate one of the biggest part of his life.

one day, he was doing his homework in his room when dongmin came in and gave him a cup of hot chocolate. he looked at the cup and sighed.

"what's with that sigh?" - dongmin sat down next to him, his eyebrows furrowed.

"it's nothing."

"girl problems?"

"never."

"oh. _minhyuk_ problems then?"

sanha looked up, opened his mouth, but his eyes met the mischievous look on his dad's face, so he closed it.

"yes."

"what's wrong? we haven't meet minhyuk at our door for ages."

"i will get over minhyuk."

"that's rich, coming from you."

"dad!"

"ok, sorry, cupcake." - dongmin laughed. - "why so?"

"he has a girlfriend."

"oh." - dongmin clicked his tounge. he ran his fingers through sanha's hair. they stayed quiet for a moment, and then sanha flopped down on his desk.

"can we sleep together, tonight? me and you and bin?"

"sure, cupcake."

so there they were, on bin and dongmin's large bed, laughing as bin was telling a funny story. sanha reluctantly spoke up when they stopped.

"from now on, minhyuk is not allowed in this house. i don't want him to stay here on saturday, to wait for me in my room, or whatever."

his parents didn't reply. bin sighed, and dongmin shook his head.

"cupcake, are you sure?"

"yes."

"ok, but if he sneak in, the blame is not on us." - bin shrugged.

"why would he sneak in?" - sanha gave his parents an exhausted sigh.

"i don't know, cupcake, probably because he is your best friend and you are his?" - dongmin's fingers were playing with sanha's hair as he talked. - "you can't just shut people out of your life so suddenly. especially when you kids have been friends since you were born."

"you got a point." - the confidence in sanha's voice disappeared and was replaced with confusion, which made his dads laughed.

"i'm your father anyway. but you can deal with that tomorrow. now sleep. it's very late."

"good night dads!"

"good night cupcake."

.

sanha didn't want to, but he really had to deal with his problem the next day. minhyuk shown up at the door with his bright smile, holding a pizza box, which collectively left sanha in shock.

"hi best friend."

"isn't it too early for pizza?" - sanha grinned, took a step back so minhyuk could step inside.

"nah. it's never too early for pizza." - minhyuk flopped down on the couch, grabbed the remote. - "which movies are you in the mood for?"

"call me by your name." - the taller boy answered absent-mindedly as he prepared for their milkshake. minhyuk sat up in surprised.

"why? that isn't even your type."

"you asked me about my mood."

"who do i have to fight? who made you sad?"

sanha stopped stirring the milk when he heard the question. he glanced at minhyuk, and met his intense gaze.

"no, it's just.. one of those days."

"we have been together for years, sanha. don't act like i don't know you fix your hair when you lie."

"i do?"

"yes. now spill it."

"it's nothing, really." - sanha gave him a reassuring smile. - "don't worry."

minhyuk looked at him once more, and squeezed his best friend's hand.

"you know you can tell me anything, right?"

his hand was warm. it was cozy. it made sanha's heart fluttered. it made butterflies flew in sanha's stomach. it was _perfect_.

sanha freezed, hoping the moment would go on forever.

then it struck him. minhyuk belonged to jihyo, not him. sanha didn't know if he should take his hand out, or let it be. but jihyo isn't here. and he is allowed to be a little selfish sometime.

so sanha smiled back.

"i know."

 _maybe_ a little bit of cuddling won't hurt him. maybe just today, he let himself to fall for minhyuk once again, and then he would work up his small little encouragement to get over minhyuk tomorrow.

_just today._


	7. high school: first day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's over.

it was sanha first day of high school.

people usually say high school will be the best time of your life. well, that's what dongmin said when he waved good bye to sanha at their door.

sanha stood before the school gate, smiling as his best friend running towards him.

he has not been able to get over minhyuk, but sanha guessed it's fine. he has a half serious conversation with bin when one day, dongmin was out doing grocery, and sanha was staring at a selfie of jihyo and minhyuk on his phone. bin looked through his shoulders and clicked his tounge.

"ah, young love."

"dad, please stop."

"i see you haven't been able to get over that kid."

sanha sighed, laid his head on his dad's lap.

"yes."

"you know what, you don't have to." - bin shrugged. - "you can just keep loving him. don't make it obvious though. one day, maybe you'll get tired and bored of loving the boy, or one day, he might fall in love with you!"

"that seems unlikely."

"don't jinx it dummy." - bin hit sanha's head lightly. - "believe in yourself. my son is a very wonderful boy that minhyuk wishes to have as his boyfriend."

sanha eyed him intensely, and then closed the tab on his phone.

"no way. otherwise he would never date jihyo."

but bin's words surely have some affect on sanha, so he chose to believe it, even if it was just a little.

"sanha!" - minhyuk gave sanha his signature smile. it's bright, warm and comforting. it always lights up sanha's day.

"hi minhyuk." - sanha put his hand over minhyuk's shoulders. - "where's jihyo?"

"i don't know, she said she's having some problem with the cheerleading team. she said it's nothing serious though. anyway, ready to start one of the best years in your life with me?"

sanha chuckled.

"sure, bastard."

"oh, you love it."

it was a normal and interesting school day, since everything is new. classes ended, sanha was waiting for minhyuk at the school gate, when he saw a familiar face.

it was jihyo, holding hand with another boy, seemed to be a member of the football team, if his uniform was anything to go by.

"ready to go?"

"sure baby." - he kissed her on her cheek. - "have you told your little boyfriend?"

"oh." - jihyo rolled her eyes. - "yeah i did. but let's forget about him for a while, shall we?"

sanha stood there, watching as they happily walked passed him. he stared blankly at the wall until minhyuk came out of the gate, startled him.

"hey lanky noodles!"

"you surprised me." - sanha jumped. the shorter boy replied with a cheeky grin.

"i need your attention. the wall deserves it more than me?"

"you bet." - he forced a smile.

"i hate you so much."

sanha listened to minhyuk's stories as they walked home, occasionally replied with some simple words, but in his head, the scene of jihyo and the boy from the football team was being played on repeat.

"is there anything wrong, sanha? you seem quiet."

minhyuk suddenly stopped. sanha popped his head up, hesitated. but then he filled himself with determination, and answered his best friend with a shaky voice.

"minhyuk.. i'm so sorry."

sanha decided quickly at that moment, he wanted minhyuk to be happy. even if it's not with him, he wanted minhyuk to be happy. and happy doesn't associate with jihyo being minhyuk's girlfriend.

"what for?" - minhyuk gave him a bewildered look.

"i saw jihyo with someone else" - he said, breathlessly. - "from the football team. this afternoon. they were holding hands, and they were leaving together."

"no way."

sanha looked at minhyuk's eyes, and saw the angry, shock, sadness in it.

"sanha, are you kidding me?"

"no, minhyuk-"

"is this about you and your stupid obsession about me leaving you again?"

sanha widen his eyes. he couldn't breath, and his head suddenly became dizzy.

"i get it, sanha. all the years we have been together, i haven't even seen you with another friends. it's high school, you are 16, for god's sake, grow up!" - minhyuk yelled, he was ablazed with anger.

sanha froze. his tears were falling out uncontrollably. until he could finally snapped out of it, minhyuk was gone.

sanha tried to move towards his house, used all his strength to open the door, threw himself into one of his dads' arms.

he didn't cry. it felt like his tears became swords, and minhyuk was there, holding the swords, stabbed him multiple times at his heart.

"what's wrong, cupcake?"

dongmin lightly tapped on sanha's back repeatedly, his voice shown obvious confusion and worries.

"it's over, dad."

"what's over?"

"m-minhyuk."

dongmin sighed, held sanha tighter.

"i'm so sorry, cupcake."

it was a sleepless night for sanha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry


	8. high school: downpour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sanha smiled at fake minhyuk. 
> 
> "i missed you."

the first week of school went by like a wind. there wasn't any dramas, or any accident that happened because of sanha's long limbs. so he called that a success.

however, his feelings were always a mess.

minhyuk didn't trust _him_. minhyuk chose to believe jihyo, over sanha, who has been his friend for 16 years. what kind of horrible thing did he do to receive such treatment from his ex - best friend? he didn't know, but it sounded bad. a part of him wanted to apologize, but then he figured out, it would be the most idiotic thing he has ever done.

there was nothing left, even his friendship is gone. how could he even dream of such things as romance?

so sanha make himself busy, he found a new hobby, and that was bullet journal. if sookyung, yoojung, heejun or seungjun hyung wasn't there to drag him everywhere and force him to socialize, he would be in his seat, trying to do a page of bullet journal. and then one day, when he was looking for bullet journal ideas on the internet in his room, he saw a page with popcorns being drew, each popcorn has a name of a movie. it was a to-watch list. that reminds him of minhyuk, and their saturday nights filled with movies of all kinds (except for horror), a box of pizza or some popcorns. sanha put his phone down, let out a small sigh.

he was praying for his stupid heart to get over that _idiot_.

sanha then heard some footsteps outside of his door. it was a minute before someone knocked on it.

"dad?"

"it's me, minhyuk."

sanha gasped. the memories he was trying to forget all came back, strong, hit him violently, made his whole body shivering.

"i don't know any minhyuk."

"sanha, i-"

"i don't want to listen to _you_ , park minhyuk! just like you didn't want to listen to me!" - sanha yelled. the inner thought of his finally got out, intense and angry, as it was hidden deep down in sanha's heart for so long. - "i'm so sorry for being clingy, i'm so sorry for being a loser, i'm so sorry for being your friend. i.."

sanha stopped, realizing his tears was falling. he took a deep breath, and let out his last sentence, shakily.

"just go home, minhyuk."

"sanha, can you, _please_ , just listen to me, for a second? i promise, i will go, just hear me out."

minhyuk's voice was also just as shaky as sanha's. sanha walked forward, leaning on the door.

"no."

"jihyo and i broke up, sanha." - he stopped, coughing. sanha put a hand on where his heart supposed to be, trying to minimize the pain he was suffering from.

"go home, minhyuk."

"it hurts not seeing you anymore, sanha."

"i said go home!"

there wasn't any replies, and sanha heard footsteps again, this time fading slowly. he finally let his tears out, streaming on his face, uncontrollably.

so it was officially ended. sanha ended it. he choked on his own tears.

"cupcake? sanha? are you ok?"

he opened the door just to find bin standing outside with a worried and nervous look on his face, his arms wide opened, ready for his son. sanha hugged him, sniffing.

"it's fine, sanha. cry all you want."

so he did.

.

sanha was having a bad cold that day. it was the result of sitting outside on their balcony every night, looking at minhyuk's window, hoping he wouldn't notice him.

it has been two week since that fight happened. he hasn't seen a glimpse of minhyuk anywhere. even his friends stopped asking him about minhyuk. sanha sneered at himself. he made that. he ended that. he could be fixing it, but he didn't. whatever, that idiot doesn't deserve it. he doesn't deserve it too.

sanha was walking home when a downpour started. he was sad enough, and then rain decided to start? way to make his heart heavier. he remembered he and minhyuk once walking home together when it started raining, and they both laughing and running home.

but that was just _memories_ now.

sanha shook his head, his eyebrowns furrrowed at the heavy weight of his bag. he felt lightheaded. his surrounding was rotating. in his delusion, he saw minhyuk walking toward him worriedly. he smiled at him. it was just fake minhyuk, so he was safe to say whatever he wanted right?

"minhyuk, you came."

"sanha, are you ok?"

his voice felt warm and sincere even when sanha was in hallucination.

"minhyuk, i missed you."

there were tears, or it was the rain, sanha didn't know anymore. he hugged minhyuk. that hallucination was pretty real, sanha thought.

"minhyuk, i missed you. i missed you. i missed you. i missed you. i missed you. i.."

it was repeated until sanha's eyes couldn't take it, and the world shut down before him.

at least he got to tell fake minhyuk how he felt.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops, it hadn't ended !


	9. high school: soulmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "we're soulmates, sanha."

sanha woke up with a sore throat, his whole body aching, a dizzy head and it took him ten minutes to actually open one eye. walking in the rain isn't actually that romantic as it is in dramas and movies, it was sanha's most horrible experience, zero out of ten, would not recommend to anyone.

the first thing he saw was dongmin sitting by his bed, scrolling up and down on his phone.

"d-dad?"

"oh don't speak cupcake!" - dongmin put his phone down, and put a finger in the middle of his lips. sanha rolled his eyes. - "i will get you a cup of warm water, just stay there."

sanha opened his mouth, about to say something about how he couldn't even move his finger, but dongmin gave him a look and he shut up. dongmin closed the door, and sanha stared at the ceiling absent-mindedly. and then something hit him and he remembered about the fake minhyuk thing. he laughed, not really a laughed, because his throat was too dry to produce any sound, at how stupid and crazy in love he was.

dongmin came back in, brought with him a cup of warm honey water and some medicine. sanha took it all and laid back down, ready to give himself another sleep.

"cupcake? don't answer, just nod or shake, ok?"

his voiced sounded unusual.sanha sat up, looked at his dad worriedly. he nodded.

"so, minhyuk wanted to see you."

sanha shook his head. dongmin sighed, clicked his tongue.

"let the kid talk to you. he brought you home all wet. i don't know how he did it though. at least say thank you."

the younger one opened his eyes wide. minhyuk took him home? he must have found sanha lying on the ground, probably. sanha rethought his decision, and then nodded slowly. dongmin smiled and stood up.

"i'll go get him."

a few minutes later, minhyuk poked his head in and gave sanha a warm smile. he looked tired, as if he didn't get any sleep at all. sanha would feel very worried for him, if they hadn't had a very weird relationship status between them.

"hi, sanha."

minhyuk stood at the door. it seemed like he thought sanha would get mad if he came closed. sanha shook his head and smiled, gestured minhyuk to come closer by his hand. he reluctantly moved closer, a hint of worry in his eyes made sanha soft. no, sanha shouldn't be soft. he sat up straight, ignoring how much his head and his heart hurt.

"look, i'm so sorry, sanha. i think it was because of me that you let yourself became that sick, i know you won't ever forgive me for what i did, but i just want to say i'm sorry."

minhyuk looked genuine, his voice sounded genuine and all the courage sanha gathered before he came in had gone. he felt tears strolling down his check, and his own voice being heard, but he had no control over it. it was almost like he wasn't himself.

"i missed you, minhyuk."

"i know, you said that." - minhyuk put up a faint smile.

"wait what?? i said that?"

"yeah. the other day, when i was bringing you home."

"oh my god." - it was real. the fake minhyuk was actually real. sanha raised a hand to cover his mouth.

"you.. didn't remember it?" - minhyuk looked disappointed, at the slightest, and sanha felt the sudden urge to comfort him.

"no, i did but.." - sanha scratched his ears awkwardly. - "i was losing my mind, i thought you were fake. you were not!! but i was.. no, i was not fake. my head was spinning because i had an awful headache and.."

it was terribly quiet, so sanha glanced at minhyuk, and he could see that minhyuk couldn't keep his bright smile to him. his cheeks went on full red mode, and he slowly lowered his head in anger. he was being played again. sanha knew this, but it hit him one more time at that moment, he is a freaking idiot.

"it's fine, sanha." - minhyuk sat down on the floor, beside his bed, making his face visible for sanha, which was very unecessary, he didn't need more pressure. - "it was my fault."

"it was not." - sanha pouted. as much as sanha would like to blame minhyuk, the truth is he himself was the one who decided to make all of this drama happened.

"yeah, whatever makes you happy." - minhyuk raised his arm up and pinched sanha's cheek. sanha stared at him, and he returned with his signature smile. he coughed. - "sanha.. do you happen to.. like somebody?"

sanha could feel his heart stopped beating, and his whole body was covered in cold sweat. why did minhyuk suddenly ask that, right then? sanha opened his mouth, and closed it again. it puzzled him, but also put up some kind of hope, which made sanha felt the butterfly in his stomach had appeared and ruining his calm emotion that actually never existed. he shook his head.

"it doesn't matter."

"why?" - minhyuk moved from the floor to his bed, and he cupped sanha's face to force him to look at him. his thumbs wiped sanha's tears away. but somehow, he made it even harder for sanha to stop crying.

"i- it just doesn't. that person isn't going to feel the same for me anyway."

"how do you know?"

"i'm a wizard." - minhyuk chuckled. sanha laughed as well, and that reminded him of his sore aching throat.

"give me a hint. does the person's name start with a m?"

sanha looked at him in the eyes. he could see himself in it, teary and ugly. but minhyuk wasn't. minhyuk was good-looking, charming, wonderful, amazing, just _perfect_. he would be perfect for a boyfriend.

"yes."

"another hint, it was still very hard to guess. is he allowed to kiss you if he wants to?"

sanha could heard the hesitance, the expectation in his voice. his heart was suddenly filled with excitement, happiness, a feeling he hasn't been able to feel for so long. he laughed in tears, facing the very confused and anxious minhyuk.

"probably. _yes_."

their lips met. it wasn't a perfect kiss, sanha thought, considering sanha were crying, his tears were everywhere. but it was a perfect kiss, considering sanha was kissing the only person he has been in love with. minhyuk's lips were incredably soft, and his hands gently cupping sanha's face made him felt loved and happy.

after a moment, minhyuk released the younger one from his embrace, grinning at how over the cloud sanha was.

"are you ok?"

"you are not that attractive to make me not ok." - sanha rolled his eyes, ignoring how hard he was blushing.

"yeah, alright, i deserve that." - minhyuk smiled fondly, his hands holding sanha's. sanha took a deep breath, trying to get all the stuff that happened in the previous ten minutes in his head.

it was the _most magical and happiest_ feeling, getting your love returned, sanha meant. especially, it's from someone who you have been crushing on since you knew what crushing is. someone who you have been looking from afar, being their biggest supporter, expecting nothing in return. someone who is absolutely your soulmate, who understand you the most. someone who is willing to deal with your annoying ass until the end and doesn't give up. someone who is just a perfect half you have been thinking about all your life.

"thank you." - sanha smiled.

"what for?"

"for loving me back."

"did i say i love you?"

sanha looked up in surprised. he gasped, and was about to take his hand back before minhyuk laughed out loud, ran his fingers through sanha's hair, and blurted out.

"i really haven't. so i love you, you idiot. and don't thank me. loving you is the only good decision i made."

minhyuk had to pay off for what he did by being stared at by bin when he opened the door to the scene of minhyuk kissing sanha, again.

"he is like, _five_."

"i'm _sixteen_ , dad."

"you have zero say in this."

"binnie."

"UGH FINE. don't kiss in front of my eyes or you are banned from this house."

"moon bin." - dongmin casually called again.

"don't think you got away with this." - bin glanced at minhyuk one last time before dongmin smiled at minhyuk apologetically and dragged bin upstairs.

one thing sanha learnt from all this, growing up is hard. you have to go to school, meet more people, and, try to find your love one. sanha got lucky his love one was right there, by his side since the day he was born. sanha is forever thankful, and to be honest, minhyuk has to. no one will find his ass charming anymore, when they know he watched some cartoons and cried. except for sanha.

minhyuk cut in sanha's thought with a smack at the back of his head. being boyfriends didn't affect minhyuk's action at all. sanha rolled his eyes.

"please somehow act like we're boyfriends."

"we're not."

"fake it until you make it."

"oh sanha, my naive sanha."

sanha turned to him, an insult ready in his head, and jumped when he saw the older boy's face was so close. minhyuk grinned, and kissed him on his cheek.

"we're soulmates, sanha."

sanha tried, he really did, but his smile was so big, he thought it would hurt him for a week.

"soulmates? you are getting some progress in literature class i see."

"i love you."

it was sincerely. very much so. it reached sanha's heart, and poured a warm kind of feeling over it. so sanha replied with every honesty he had.

"i love you too."

**the end.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOO so it ended!!!! 
> 
> the first fanfiction ive ended in my entire life im very proud of myself. its not perfect, but it certainly have some good part lol thank you for reading and enjoying this!! the comments and mentions on twitter you all gave me are amazing and it meant so much to me. 
> 
> i love you!!!

**Author's Note:**

> yell at me @ultidm (with a capital i) on twitter!! thank you loves!!


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